I am going to give you two simple method on how to identify a raped victim so that they can be helped when discovered, I am sure it will be of help to you when you know this. You can also read on how to avoid being a raped victim
A raped victim may suffer without the public knowing anything about it. Many of them fail to even open up to their family members, sometimes they carry the secrete to their grave without anyone knowing of it or they may even commit suicide to stop the excruciating pain on their own.
Don’t blame them always, for not opening up, it is very hard for someone to open up a sensitive case, like rape, they rather hurled it inside and die holding the pain. They wouldn’t want to be stigmatized or perceived as a replacement or subservient for action that was not their fault.
Sometimes, people go as far as asking a raped victim how she ended up getting herself raped? what were you wearing, they will always say? and all those many other questions that have no relation to solving the issue. No wonder it is very hard to disclose such issues with people.
I’ve discovered over the years through observation and research, that trying to hear raped victim come up in the public to disclose their sad story doesn’t always work out, there has to be a developed method of handling the exposure of rape. That is when I came up with the method of observing keenly to know the victims very well.
This tips, I will be giving you will not work very well unless you draw nearer to the suspected victim.
The two methods to identify a rape victim is
Suspicion and focused group discussion
In this method, one preceded the other.
1. Suspicion: there must be suspicion for verification to occur. Rape is not written boldly in the face of people but it is written with expressions and psychology of the victim, that is where observation comes to play. The psychology of a rape victim and a normal lady are not the same. Females are sensitive, but raped victims are more sensitive. This is what you look out for when observing suspected victims;
• They are sometimes, traumatic about the site of the opposite gender physically and mentally but works hard to conceal these expressions. They feel this way because they rather trust a pet than trust the opposite sex, this is because of what has happened to them. So by observing carefully, you can identify if the person is a victim or not.
• They also have the tendency to be afraid of sex whether on hearing it or seeing someone doing it or even feeling the presence of the male genital organ.
• Sometimes they lack confidence in themselves because they fill like they have been defiled. So presenting such body to the person they love becomes a hard thing to them. So they hate sex and equally the opposite sex because each time they close their eyes they will always remember the scenario without having the way to qualm it down.
• This might surprise you, but during the course of my research, I found out that some ladies degenerated so much because of their earlier experiences with rape. When the rape happened, some part of their conscience had a total shut down. This means that they stopped some feeling which they know, brooding over them will not help at all, they throw them out and takes sex life to the next level. They either become promiscuous or a prostitute or remains nothing at all. When I got to ask one of them. A lot of ladies lose it, once they got raped they say to themselves there is no need of concealing it anymore, she said, I have become trash so no need to hold back, some feels they have been enclosed in a box called rape and want to break free and give themselves peace of mind.
The first method must be established before moving on to the next one, that is why I said they preceded each other.
You must establish the suspicion stage first before moving on to the focused group discussion.
2. Focused group discussion.
Don’t get me wrong because I called it a focused group, it doesn’t mean it must be in a group. As a matter of fact, it has to be one on one discussion because female are really sensitive to some issues. If you are a male entity and you want to discover issue concerning a rape victim, then, all you have to do is to get a female to play the role for you. Even if the girl is your best friend the chances of her opening up to you is like 0.10% which will not likely end well. Have you ever wanted to know a girl’s secret and she twisted the whole thing with lies? Well, I have, and that is exactly what they will do because they might not even tell their mother except their closeness with them are unquestionable. Now you will be asking yourself, what will I do then? Well, nothing is too difficult when you have made up your mind. What is required here is homogeneity between you two? If the victim that has been rape is about 23 years old and a female, then it would be better to use someone looking the same age as her and on top of it, a lady also. Everything must compliment the person you are impersonating and they must be looking the same in almost everything even if it has to be fake but it needs to be perfect. As the person that is seeking the information, you have to put yourself in the victim’s shoe because without that, you can’t get any information from her. You have to elicit her into talking, the person you are using, has to be a good actor in order to feel the same pain the other lady is feeling.
If it is not done that way the person won’t give any information to the other person. You have to say the thing she would likely say and allow her to open up on her own while she listens to your own painful story. Listen very carefully, it takes some ladies time to disclose their secret to a stranger even if they are facing the same challenges, so what you will do is to go for an undercover and befriend her for a longer time so that she will free in giving up that information that you need.
Note this, the reason why they might not open up to their mother is that they feel their mother do not understand what they are going through, probably the mother has not spent quality time with them, they won’t open up to her if she hasn’t given her time to the victim.
So if you are a mother and you notice or suspect something different about your child, all you have to do is get someone of the same characteristics that can easily extract the information from her, they might also use some kind of reward to lure them in, but the reward must not be.
This is how you identify a raped victim. Remember if you can’t identify them you can’t help them.
Check out, how to avoid rape nairaland.